A CIRCLE OF SIX MEN
EDITOR'S NOTE
The following article delivers a sly wink at a particular office subculture, the infamous ‘circle of six.’ The writer’s candid, lightly satirical voice encourages readers to reflect on work- place dynamics with both seriousness and humor. We invited Sixten Rebel to explore the rituals and unwritten codes of this tribe, perhaps even offering a tongue-in-cheek survival guide for new- comers. Notice the pointed satire aimed at the ‘roosters’ prowling the breakroom. While the writer’s intent and integrity on this topic are clear and respectful, we also invite readers to consider how these dynamics might feel from a female per- spective. How might the experience, or even this discussion, resonate differently for women in the workplace?
Thesis: Respect for women in the workplace is essential, regardless of appearance, and inappropriate male behavior should never be tolerated.
by Sixten Rebel. Illustration by Marcel van de Kraats
This is my personal experience of how men interact with women in the workplace. A woman, beautiful and well-dressed, always tidy as expected for an office role, never provocative, just polished. As a man, you might say, “Wow, you look beautiful” or “You look great,” because she chooses nice clothes and takes care of herself. Is it appropriate to make casual compliments at work? Let’s examine what’s happening and what should or shouldn’t be done.
Even if she wore a short skirt and a low neckline, you could still say, “You look great,” though, from the man’s perspective, the focus might shift to the neckline or the skirt.
Men look at women. Women look at men. It’s natural. People notice what they see, regardless of being straight, gay, or bi. I can say or think another man is handsome without sexual thoughts.
Women can also tell their female colleague, “Hey, you look great today.” Whether straight or not shouldn’t matter.
What matters is this: when that attractive woman arrives in nice clothes and you, as a man, compliment her appearance, she might take it kindly, see it as flattery, or think, “What a suck- up.” All of that is possible, and none of it is wrong. It’s wrong when I walk away and, suddenly, six men stand in a circle around her. These six men keep her there. Their eyes shine, and their body language reveals their thoughts, often focused on hips or breasts.
At that point, it isn’t about what she wears; it’s about the men’s inappropriate behavior. These six “roosters” are all over 55, and she, the young woman, is 32. One of those six even hasa daughter the same age. I’ve never seen a father look so infatuated with a friend of his daughter, who also happens to be this woman’s colleague.
Fortunately, she’s outspoken and firmly brushes those “roosters” off one by one. She doesn’t let herself be intimidated by those lustful old men. Would it have been different if she had worn a low neckline or a short skirt?
Yes, then there wouldn’t be six, but sixteen lustful men.Is this woman allowed to wear whatever she wants? Absolutely.
Are we men allowed to have opinions about it? Sure.Are we allowed to act on those thoughts or express them through comments to her? No, definitely not.
Try turning it around—but you can’t. We’re dealing with six men circling a beautiful woman. You can’t really reverse that. Men aren’t like that. Most aren’t.Am I criticizing men while being a man myself? Absolutely, and I don’t care.Because I am Sixten Rebel, and rebellious I will always be.
Do I like women? Definitely.
Do I think you should respect women at work?
Absolutely.
Should you respect women standing in lingerie behind the windows in Amsterdam, selling their bodies for money? Yes—always, at all times.In short, every woman deserves respect. Nothing more, nothing less.
It’s simple: your sister, daughter, neighbor, grandmother, they’re all women.Of course, we as humans have natural thoughts, and that’s okay. We can pretend those thoughts aren’t there, but they are. Many of us ignore or even deny them, and that’s okay, too.But we never have to stand in a circle like that. Be wise and responsible.Never be that man, that one man in that circle of six lustful old men.
Much love,
Sixten Rebel
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